Album Review: Kickin’ Valentina – Super Atomic

Kickin’ Valentina – Super Atomic
Release Date: 2015
Record Label : Independent

Atlanta sleaze rockers Kickin’ Valentina are back with the follow up to their self-titled album, this time with Super Atomic. Before we get started on the music, can we just take a quick second to address this hilarious artwork on the album cover? My first question for these guys would be, “Uh, have you guys not seen the latest album by Black Star Riders. Let’s split this into two exhibits just so you can see what I’m talking about.

Ok, now that we got that out of the way, let’s talk about the music shall we? The album opens up with the 30-something second long “Sermon” which I’ve heard the band use as their intro for their live set. This I actually have to say was pretty cool and I love how it goes right into the opening song “On My Side.” Right out the gates with this one I was super impressed as to how great it sounded. Lead singer Joe Edwards has a voice that is just off the fucking charts killer and this song is just a fucking killer song. Matter of fact, I even went back and listened to it a 2^nd time because I enjoyed it that much. Unfortunately, I can’t say the same thing for the rest of the album.

“Wrong Way” followed and honestly I couldn’t even make it through the whole song without reaching for the skip button. With its absolutely annoying chorus it pretty much had me not able to take much more. “When You’re Gone” was a surprise for me as I felt like this was a really great song but then all of the sudden here comes “Fist N’ Twist.” Good lord. These lyrics are absolutely horrendous. My eyes were rolling so much my poor wife thought I was having a stroke as I listened to this with headphones on the couch. “Super Atomic Poster Boy” and “Some Kind of Sex” were both musically great songs but oh my god, again, those lyrics. They sounded like they were written by an 18 year old back in 1986.

Ok, here’s the deal. Kickin’ Valentina is a great fucking band and I truly mean that. They are great players, they are tight as a fucking high school freshman girl, and they have probably one of the best fucking lead singers I’ve heard in years. The only thing they are missing are quality songs. Musically Kickin’ Valentina has the ability to be one of the best fucking bands out there right now but with lyrics this juvenile and ridiculous it just won’t happen. I know they appeal to a certain kind of audience that loves shit like this; the kind of audience that reads books by Duff McKagen and considers Nikki Sixx a brilliant musician.

In all honesty, I love this kind of music but I love it nostalgically. I love hearing Poison and Jet Boy and even Hanoi Rocks singing these kinds of songs but even those bands were able to do this kind of music lyrically more clever and another thing, they were in their 20’s at the time. Hearing these kinds of lyrics by a bunch of 40 something years olds with wives, kids, and families just, to me, is a bit silly. It would be one thing if they were 20 years old and living it up but they’re not and that just seems to lack some sincerity to me. At least when Poison sang about fucking chicks behind bushes they were actually doing it. Comprende?

Kickin’ Valentina, in my opinion, is a really solid fucking band with a lot of promise. They are like that first Skid Row album (nowhere near as good though) and I just keep waiting for them to grow up and make their Slave to the Grind. I would love to hear this band end up being something way more substantial than they really are but then again, what do I know? Maybe this is exactly where they want to be as a band. They have fans that obviously love their schtick and if that’s enough for them, then kudos to them for sticking to their guns.

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