Masters of Metal Volume 1
Label: K-Tel
Release Date: 1984
The Artwork – 3/5
Ok. This artwork gets a 3/5 just like the previous one (link here) if anything because there is no ridiculously exaggerated long ass guitar neck. On this album, the artwork is plain and simple but still very much metal. The logo kind of looks like Masters of the Universe but the pointy letters is part of the metal element. Along with the pointer letters is laser beams all over the fucking place. Lasers used to be metal as fuck back in the 80’s but now I think even One Direction uses them. Then we have an eclipse. You’re probably thinking, “what’s metal about an eclipse?” Well, only the fact that Dio sang in “Children of the Sea”, “LOOK OUT! The sun is going black! Black!” I know, right? Head… BOOM!
SIDE 1:
Black Sabbath – Trashed (5/5)
Ok, so again, you can see how these compilations back in the day freaked me out. I mean, when I first heard this song, I was like, what the fuck is this? That was when I discovered that not only did Ozzy and Dio sing for Sabbath but so did Ian Gillan from Deep Purple. As much as I can’t stand the Born Again album, I always dug this song and I still think it’s pretty fucking rad. A great way to kick things off.
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Y&T – Mean Streak (1/5)
I never liked Y&T. I do have to admit, I always thought Dave Menekitti was a great singer and killer fucking guitar player but none of that means shit if you don’t have good songs. I know a lot of people who loved this band but I always thought they were lame. This song is pretty fucking terrible and while it’s not worse than that horrible “Summertime Girls”, it’s still pretty fucking bad. Ugh… kill it with fire.
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Dokken – Breaking the Chains (3/5)
The older I get, the less I find myself liking Dokken. Even back in the day when everyone was “rockin’ with Dokken” I just couldn’t get behind all of their stuff. I was a huge fan of the Back for the Attack album but for the most part I just found their shit to just not be all that good. This song is “ok.” It’s not a song that’s painful to hear but it’s just one of those “meh” songs.
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Zebra – Who’s Behind the Door (5/5)
I thought it was so fucking cool that a New Orleans band was featured on a Masters of Metal compilation! That aside, I fucking LOVE Zebra. I always loved the fact that they were this awesome cross of Led Zeppelin and Rush. I mean, they took two amazing bands and created their own thing. This song is still every bit as awesome as it ever was. Loved it then, love it now!
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Dio – Rainbow in the Dark (5/5)
The minute you hear that chord followed by those cheesy ass keyboards, you just can’t help but throw your horns in the air and go all Butthead on it and yell, “YESS!!!” Goddamn what a voice. Dio blew my mind back then and he still does to this day. This song is a timeless classic and I also feel like this one was used on many Masters of Metal albums. It’s a great gateway into the realm of pure awesomeness.
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Van Halen – Dancing In The Street (1/5)
LOL. Yes, I did just type “LOL.” Why? Because this song is so fucking ridiculous. I remember hearing this as a kid and thinking it was so stupid. It’s so corny and it makes me wonder who exactly was responsible for picking the tracks for these albums. I mean, this song is just so lame and it sticks out like a sore thumb. No thanks, Diamond Dave. I gotta pass on this one.
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KISS – Lick It Up (2/5)
Probably one of my all time least favorite KISS songs. Again, for some reason, this song always ended up on these compilations. Why? I have no clue. Why not put Heavens On Fire (which did make a few of these albums) or even something like, “War Machine” or even something awesome like, “Creatures of the Night”? I always thought this song was just weaksauce. I mean, I don’t hate it but again, it’s just one of those that I could live without ever hearing again.
SIDE 2
Rainbow – Street of Dreams (0/5)
How in the hell could this even be Rainbow? Seriously. I mean, I get it that it’s not Dio but this is the same “band” that brought us “Kill the King”, “Man on the Silver Mountain”, and “Catch the Rainbow” but man, this shit just fucking sucks. It’s such a lame ass song and god I hate Joe Lynn Turner. Every time I hear that guy’s voice I just want to kick him in the throat. Terrible.
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Iron Maiden – Run to the Hills (5/5)
What really needs to be said here? It’s Iron Fucking Maiden. It’s “Run to the Hills.” That is all.
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Rush – Tom Sawyer (5/5)
Talk about a fucking timeless song. I loved it back in the day and I love it now. It’s funny that it’s because of these cheesy ass compilations I would learn about bands such as Rush, Triumph, Accept, and Krokus. Had it not been for these Masters of Metal albums, it may have been a long time (if ever) before I would hear these bands. This song is just all kinds of bad ass and it’s probably the only song I can think of that I “air keyboard” to. Yeah, that’s bad ass.
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Triumph – A World of Fantasy (4/5)
Triumph is one of those bands that I never really dug deeper into but I’ll be damned if I don’t love pretty much every song I’ve ever heard by them on these compilations. They were somewhat of a poor man’s Rush but I always thought they had some pretty awesome songs. This song just screams 80’s hard rock but these guys were definitely a bit more substantial than many of their peers.
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Twisted Sister – You Can’t Stop Rock N’ Roll (5/5)
Good fucking God I love this band. Twisted Sister was and always will be a huge band that has a special place in my heart. These guys pretty much got me through some pretty rough times as a youth and this song in general always used to get me pumped up. The rawness, the grit, that attitude still rings out to this day and this song has stood the test of time. Twisted Sister will always be a timeless band with timeless songs and a timeless message to the misguided and lost youth for generations to come.
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Krokus – Screaming in the Night (5/5)
I always thought this song was fucking amazing. It’s such a cool song and it has all the elements of a great fucking song. Great vocals, amazing guitar playing, really cool changes. It’s not your ordinary ballad. It’s such a dark sounding song and no matter how many times I hear this song, it never gets old. I just wish the rest of their shit was as awesome as this song was. This song just fucking rules. ‘Nuff said.
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