The Vintage Caravan – Gateways: Basic Music for Basic People.

The Vintage Caravan returned in 2018 with another album.  The best way I can describe The Vintage Caravan is like when you really want to like a restaurant.  You go once, and it’s ok but you wanna give them another chance.  You go a 2^nd time, and it’s still ok.  Then, finally, you go a 3^rd time and it’s no better than the previous visits and you just have to decide that it’s just never going to get any better than this.  Well, that, my friends, is the Vintage Caravan.

The first word that comes to my mind when trying to describe VC’s latest album Gateways is “basic.”  It’s like, basic white boy psych rock music played by guys with zero conviction and zero gusto.  It’s basic music for basic people.  “Set Your Sights” opens the album with what feels like a slight tap on the shoulder making you look over and see nothing.  “The Way” follows and a minute into this song the band sounds nearly as bored as I do.  I mean, even the riff for this song is so dull and repetitive.

As this point, I could just start listing songs just to prove the fact that I actually listened to this.  “On the Run” started out promising but quickly went downhill from there and “All This Time” sounds like the guitar player just picked up a guitar for the first time 2 days before recording this album.  “Nebula” was a good attempt at something a bit Floyd-esque but again, due to the lack of ability to craft a good song just falls flat.

I said it once and I’ll say it again.  The Vintage Caravan is just basic as fuck.  The band and their latest album Gateways lacks any kind of excitement, fire, drive, or originality.  Let’s go back to the restaurant comparison.  Why would you have a burger at McDonalds when you can go to Ted’s Montana Grill and get the best fucking Bison Burger you’ll ever have in your fucking life? 

So musically, why even bother listening to the Vintage Caravan when you’ve Graveyard, Kadaver, Lucifer, and countless other bands who are top shelf shit.    How these guys are able to keep making albums is beyond me but at this point, I think it’s safe to say that it will never get any better. 

About The Author

Don

I have been running this blog since 2009. AKA as the Great Southern Brainfart, Southeast of Heaven is my baby now and forever. I’ve had my ups and downs with bands over the years but they are all great experiences and memories. My Swedish friend Charlie said once, “Don is known for being one of the meanest bastards in American rock journalism.” It’s nice to be loved.

I also once took a shit in Anthrax’s dressing room toilet and didn’t flush.

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