As a writer, a quarantine due to the Covid-19 thang can’t hold me down. If anything, it has just sparked the inspiration for me to come up with things to write about. Not too long ago, I did a track by track review of Queensryche’s Rage for Order and Empire albums. It was a lot of fun but this time around, I decided to jump into murky waters by doing a track by track review of the Blaze Bayley era of Iron Maiden. Are you brave? Do you dare to go through this? I’m holding the door open for you… enter at your own risk.
The X-Factor
Sign of the Cross
I love this song. Musically and lyrically, this song is one of my favorite songs, but the minute Blaze starts singing, it all just goes out of the window. There is just something about his voice. I mean, it starts out kind of strong but then all of a sudden he just keeps going in the same monotone range with no dynamics at all. It’s only when he stops singing can we hear just how fucking epic this song is. Hearing Bruce sing this song on the Legacy of the Beast tour gave me an idea of how this song SHOULD HAVE sounded.
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Lord of the Flies
Oh my. “I don’t cah for this world anymohhhhhhhhh.” WTF is this crap? This sounds like something that Steve wrote and then thew away and then he fished it out of the trash and said, “Yeah, let’s do this one. This song fucking sucks. Blaze’s vocals are just so terrible. On this song in particular, he sounds like one of those outtake American Idol auditions. He sounds like that William “She Bang” Hung dude. This is just horrible.
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Man on the Edge
Here’s a song about “a briefcase, a lunch, and a man on the edge.” This song (and surely entire album) is proof that there is no God. If there was, would he/she even have allowed this? “Now he can’t even give birthday presents?” Seriously? How was this even allowed to be a thing? Musically it’s not a bad song but my god these lyrics are just hilariously stupid. Also, why does Blaze sound like he’s reading cue cards on every fucking song? Man, this is going to be long 71 minutes.
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Fortunes of War
I liked this song better when it was called “Fear of the Dark.” How many fucking times can Steve write this fucking song? It’s predictable and good god what key is Blaze singing in? It sure as hell isn’t the same key the band is playing in. Honestly, the music after the first verse is pretty fucking badass. I love that chuggy beat with the little breaks throughout it. I feel like this song would’ve made a much better instrumental. It might be the case with all the songs. Must forge ahead.
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Look for the Truth
Ok, so I just answered my previous question. Steve can write the previous song at least twice on this album so far. Nowhere near as musically strong. It’s so repetitive and at this point in the album its very obvious when Blaze wrote lyrics. They sound like they were written for a 9th-grade non-so creative writing class. Musically it’s stupid, lyrically it’s stupid, vocally it’s stupid, this song is just stupid. Next!
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Aftermath
There is only one way to describe this song: exhausted. We are only six songs into an 11 song album. “In… the mud… and rain… what are we fighting for?” Blaze doesn’t even sound like he’s trying. I know it’s not fair to compare him to Bruce but I can think of a whole trove of singers who at least have some diversity and character to their voices. Blaze has a decent vibrato but that’s about it. Five more songs to go?
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Judgment of Heaven
This is definitely Steve’s attempt to write a kind of “hit” song is sounds like. It kind of reminds of “Heaven Can Wait” a little bit but seriously, this shit sounds so tired and worn out. I just don’t get it. There is ZERO pitch correction on this album so I’m guessing Steve didn’t care how fucking pitchy Blaze would sound. I have no idea what was going through Steve’s head, to be honest. It actually sounds like a band that was influenced by Iron Maiden but can’t write songs. Ugh..
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Blood on the World’s Hands
I don’t care how awesome of a bassist Steve is but he should be ashamed of the horrible bass solo in the intro to this song. It’s so sloppy and it sounds like he was actually warming up and the Caveman accidentally hit the “record” button. Musically, once again it’s another song re-written. This is pretty much a slowed-down version of “Afraid to Shoot Strangers” only nowhere near as good. Blaze’s vocal delivery is actually pretty strong on this one. Note that I said “strong” and not “good.” Maybe it’s that I didn’t have to hear a whole lot of it in this song? Who knows?
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The Edge of Darkness
Blaze really sings with some power on this song. He actually sounds confident which he doesn’t sound on the other songs. I actually don’t hate this song. Lyrically it’s pretty stupid but this is actually the most listenable song on the album. Blaze’s vocals actually have some conviction and some character. I’m pretty surprised by how much I enjoyed this song. Not bad at all. Why couldn’t he put this much effort into everything else? Probably would’ve still been bad but at least could give him an “A” for effort.
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2 A.M.
What the fuck is wrong with Blaze’s voice here? It sounds like the dude is fucking reading for the first time after having come out of a stroke. Musically, this is the 4th time this song has appeared on this album. Lyrically? I can’t even. Seriously. I can’t even. These vocals… oh boy. I just… yeah… no… I just can’t. Wow. This shit sucks. This song makes “Weekend Warrior” sound like “Rime of the Ancient Mariner.”
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The Unbeliever
If you ever were curious what Iron Maiden would sound like with every ounce of life sucked out of them, it’s this song. ‘arry has totally given up at this point. It’s flat, it’s lifeless, and it’s fucking embarrassing. Even the changes in the song are predictable, tired, and uninspired. It’s hard to believe that this line up would make another album. Woo hoo. Can’t wait.
Virtual XI
Futureal
Ok, so I didn’t hate this song. I’m sure I might have hated it normally but coming off of the shit sandwich that is X-Factor, this song actually sounded kind of cool. Blaze actually has some power and some character to his voice and I didn’t think he sounded horrible. He didn’t sound great but wasn’t horrible either. Good way to kick off an album.
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The Angel & The Gambler
Ok, well that didn’t last long at all. This song… fuck man. It sounds like they were writing it WHILE they were recording. This song is so fucking horrible. It also doesn’t help that part of this song is the same melody of “Kids in America.” Seriously. What the fuck is up with these lyrics? Steve Harris has officially given up. He has checked out, left his baggage, and just wandered off. This is beyond horrible. Definitely their worst song at this point.
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Lightning Strikes Twice
This is actually a pretty cool song. Lyrically it seems to harken back to the old days of Maiden and I could actually hear Bruce singing this song and having it kick ass. It almost sounds like it could’ve been on Seventh Son if only played with some life and played without Blaze. Good fucking God this guy is a turd in the punch bowl of Iron Maiden.
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The Clansman
Great fucking song. Getting to hear Bruce sing this song on the Legacy of the Beast tour was a real fucking treat and it also proves just how a shitty singer can ruin a great song. Musically this is a return to the powerful epic type song that Maiden does so well. All is great until Blaze opens his cakehole. Not only does Blaze have no upper register but he has no lower register either. Everything this guy sings is flat, sharp, and out of key. It’s like Blaze invented his own key. The key of suck. Go away, dude.
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When Two Worlds Collide
I’m not quite sure what the fuck is going on here. This actually sounds like a rejected Helloween song or something. I am still, for the life of me, trying to figure out why nobody stopped Steve and some point and said, “This guy sucks, ‘arry. We gotta get someone in here. What is Michael Kiske up to?” This is just flat out bad and embarrassing.
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The Educated Fool
Every goddamn song with this guy starts off with him singing some kind of off key, out of tune bullshit. I literally think that there are maybe THREE songs that didn’t make me completely squint and cringe. This song is so cringeworthy and, again, Steve Harris wrote this one. Did the rest of the band just tell him, “Have fun, bruh” and then go off to play golf until it was time for them to record their parts? It’s just so bad and at this point, Steve had to know that this was the end.
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Don’t Look to the Eyes of a Stranger
Why am I even still writing? Just read above.
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Como Astais Amigo
Esta canción es una mierda complete
Boy, that was painful. There are so many questions I have about this duo of albums. The biggest question is why go with Blaze Bayley. I’m sure that’s the million-dollar question everyone had and still has. Blaze has a pretty tight fan base that holds his stint with Maiden in high regard. Again, why? I hear no redeeming qualities to this guy whatsoever. I mean, I will say that there were a couple of (no more than three) songs that I felt were quite good. This may have also been because of all of the shitty songs and performances that they were sandwiched by.
On these two albums, the only I can describe them as sounding is “defeated” (thanks, James.) The band sounds exhausted and there is little to no life in them depending on the song you’re listening to. If you compare these two albums to the two albums that Bruce Dickinson released on his own (Skunkworks and The Chemical Wedding), it makes me wonder if at any point did Steve look up to the sky and yell, “NOOOOOOO!”
So there you have it. My thoughts on the Blaze era of Iron Maiden. May it from here on never played anywhere near me ever, EVER again. What is real? The fact that this shit sucks. THAT’S what is real.
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