I get a lot of press releases in my inbox every day. I would guestimate that I get somewhere from 10-20 a day. For every 30 I get, maybe 1 band will be truly great. One of those bands definitely ISN’T Shitfucker.
Yes, you heard me right. There is a band called Shitfucker. I am not one to ever judge a book by its cover so I decided to give their latest album Sex With a Dead Body a listen. You can imagine that the songs actually sound just like you would think they do coming from a band called Shitfucker. I mean, it sure as hell isn’t progressive metal or jazz. Songs such as “Stab the Head,” “Sex With Dead Bodies,” and “Splatter Master” all sound like, well, unintelligible noise. It’s shitty produced, shitty written music that has no point or direction and obviously this is Shitfucker’s goal.
The press release pretty much says it all. “Although it’s been six long years between albums, Sex With Dead Body proves that SHITFUCKER is still charismatic masters of apocalyptic witching metal of the highest order/odor. Get fucking, or get fucked!” This is not a convincing press release and it actually annoys the fuck out of me.
Why does this annoy me? Because I fucking hate joke bands. Before you tell me shit like, “But you like Gwar and Ugly Kid Joe,” let me be clear. While these bands may have more than a few silly songs, there is still some substance to what they are singing. Joke bands like Steel Panther, Mac Sabbath, and Okily Dokily piss me off because they are actually securing a fan base because of their shitty schticks while bands who are “real” bands are struggling.
Maybe I should be blaming the sheep fans that flock to see shit bands like this but I also blame the bands themselves for taking up space and being allowed to share the same air that I breathe. To put fuel on the fire the band’s press release even boasted this line:
***uncensored band photos available upon request***
Here is one of those pictures.
It’s my guess that these guys are attempting to be some kind of G.G Allen of sorts but seriously. Would you listen to shit like this? If you would I can only hope you will go to the same place that Shitfucker should go and that is far, far, VERY far away.
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