2021 saw some albums turning 30 years old this year that I grew up loving as a teenager. We saw Saraya‘s When the Blackbird Sings, and Skid Row‘s Slave to the Grind both turned 30 this year. Another album to be added to that list is Ugly Kid Joe‘s debut EP, As Ugly As They Wanna Be, and it was so much fun re-visiting this album.
The band was initially called SWAT (Suburban White Alcoholic Trash) and proudly hailed from Santa Barbara. However, the band hated being called an LA band so much that they referred to the city as “Smell A.” Rumor has it that one fateful evening, the band was booked to support LA glam metal band Pretty Boy Floyd, so to be funny, they renamed themselves Ugly Kid Joe as a play on the headliner’s name. Unfortunately, the show ended up being canceled, so the name stuck.
Ugly Kid Joe cut their teeth playing all over California and could frequently be found playing in the quad of UC Santa Barbara, creating a buzz for themselves. Soon the band was packing clubs on a nightly basis, and word started to get out. First, the band signed to Mercury Records and released the EP, which is notable for being the first EP ever to go platinum. Next, they hit the road with New York thrash band Scatterbrain which also boasted a warped sense of humor lyrically combined with stellar musicianship.
I remember very clearly when As Ugly As They Wanna Be came out. I went absolutely apeshit crazy on this album. But, like many, their single/video for “Everything About You” is what sucked me and made me a fan. The ironic take on the hard rock ballad was hysterical and even the video mocked the hard rock ballad videos of the time, complete with black and white footage and walking alone on a beach… while flying a sex doll inflated with helium.
Ugly Kid Joe had a great sound that reminded me of an excellent goulash of influences by bands like Suicidal Tendencies, Red Hot Chili Peppers, and some random punk influences. As Ugly As They Wanna Be was snotty, obnoxious, and unapologetic in its content and delivery. So many people wanted to write Ugly Kid Joe as a shitty band, but Ugly Kid Joe were monsters on their instruments.
From the insanely silly “Madman” about a guy who goes on a killing spree (“Surprise, surprise, I’m comin’ at ya’ live. I sure as hell ain’t Mickey Mouse, I’m a killer in disguise”) to the 0:27 second instrumental “Heavy Metal,” As Ugly As They Wanna Be showcased Ugly Kid Joe’s warped, drunken sense of humor with their lyrics. However, the album’s highlight for me was the “Sweet Leaf/Funky Fresh Country Club.” Kicking off with the intro, first verse, and chorus for Black Sabbath’s “Sweet Leaf,” the song that slams right into the funky groove-laden “Funky Fresh Country Club” boasting lyrics such as, “If you’re messing with my girl, you’re messing with your life cause I’m gonna cut you with a big, big, big, big, big, big, big knife, you bet your fuckin’ life!”
Showing that they could step out of their silly tongue-in-cheek formula, “Too Bad” took a turn in a serious direction about someone (maybe a friend?) who either was going or had gone off of the deep end from leading an extremely toxic lifestyle. Ironic since this band was a bunch of heavy drinkers, so this guy had to have really been living it rough.
The songs on As Ugly As They Wanna Be have stood the test of time exceptionally well, and they sound every bit as fun as they did when I first heard them. The songs are fantastic, but the musicianship in Ugly Kid Joe shouldn’t be overlooked. An incredibly tight and solid groove foundation set by bassist Cordell Crocket and drummer Mark Davis, the duo guitar team of Klaus Eichstadt and Roger Lahr, and Whitfield’s vocals Crane. I stand firm beside my opinion that Whitfield Crane is one of the best metal vocalists who has never got the credit he deserved.
As As Ugly As They Wanna Be, 30 years later, reminds me of just how much I loved this album. I have listened to it repeatedly as I write this 3 or 4 times, and I love it more with each listen. Re-discovering this gem has set me on a journey down memory lane and re-establishing my love for this silly, goofy, sometimes serious, and always uber-talented band that was a huge part of my teen years.
Happy Birthday, As Ugly As They Wanna Be. 30 looks good on ya!
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