I recently took the time to listen to every one of Ozzy Osbourne’s studio albums and give my own opinionated ratings on them. The Good, the bad and the downright awful, at the end of the day, Ozzy is hit or miss but he’s still fucking OZZY OSBOURNE. I know opinions are like assholes but it was a fun way for me to really listen to every studio album he’s made and offer up my honest opinion. Feel free to argue and comment with me as that’s what I like. I love a good music dork exchange. LET THE MADNESS… BEGIN!
Blizzard of Ozz – 4.5 headless bats out of 5
The Good: The whole fucking album (except for No Bone Movies)
A timeless classic without a doubt that many people hold to be his greatest piece of work. While I love the songs on this album, I find it somewhat painful to listen to. The production is so thin and lifeless and it sounds completely dated. I’ve run into this a good bit with early 80’s albums so it’s nothing that unusual. This album contains many classics that still dominate Ozzy’s set to this day which shows the staying power of these songs overall. It also has a much more friendly and poppy appeal to it than his previous stuff in Black Sabbath. I think it’s also very obvious that Ozzy had very little to do with the songwriting. Take that craptastic “No Bone Movies” out of there and you’d have a 5. “Goodbye To Romance” still gives me chills to this day and is one of Ozzy’s greatest vocal performances to date.
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Diary of a Madman 5 headless bats out of 5
The Good: Not a single bad song on this album
What a huge jump in quality from the “Blizzard of Ozz.” This album is just monstrous. Opening with “Over The Mountain” just sets the tone for this album. I find this album to definitely be more of a metal album than it’s predecessor and the over all production is fucking awesome. Randy’s guitar is so fat in the mix and his solos literally jump right out at you and just melt some serious fucking face. The songs in general are also so much better. Don’t get me wrong, as much as I love those “Blizzard” tunes, I would take the songs from “Diary” over them any day. “You Can’t Kill Rock & Roll” puts me on the fence sometimes but I’m always won over by the chorus every time I hear it. “Little Dolls” and “S.A.T.O” are favorites of mine because they are so versatile and have so much character to them. It’s a shame these songs got completely ignored and never played live but it’s the title track that brings it all home. That song closes out the album in a way that leaves you wanting more. Unfortunately that is the last we would ever hear of Randy Rhoads until the tribute album but he left behind this classic piece of metal history. Ozzy would never again have an album this great.
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Bark At The Moon – 2 headless bats out of 5.
The Good: Bark At The Moon, You’re No Different
Even as a kid I remember thinking that Bark At The Moon was a big ass bowl of suck. Well, at 37 I stand by that statement. I know what you’re all thinking. Ooo, Jake E. Lee! He was awesome yadda yadda yadda. Well, I have to say that he does have a few shining moments like “Bark At The Moon” and “Rock & Roll Rebel” but remember folks; being a great guitarist doesn’t mean shit when the songs you are playing on are rubbish. Coming in the wake of Blizzard of Ozz and Diary of a Madman, this album is just a big joke. Matter of fact, the songs are so bad that I’m surprised Ozzy didn’t own up to not writing these lyrics. I do have to say though that Jake definitely is playing some pretty heavy stuff on this album. He’s more of a metal/rock guitarist where Randy was obviously a more classically trained player. I just think that Bark at the Moon’s songs are just so bad that even Randy couldn’t have saved this craptastic Crapsterpiece.
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The Ultimate Sin – 3.5 headless bats out of 5
The Good: The Ultimate Sin, Thank God For The Bomb, Fool Like You, Never, Killer of Giants, Shot In The Dark
The Ultimate Sin is an album that I have to give credit for boasting one of the greatest Ozzy songs ever: “Killer of Giants.” The more I listen to this album the more surprised I am to find that I really like a good number of these songs. I absolutely hated this album sans a song or three yet now I find myself really enjoying it. There are a few craptastic momens (Secret Loser, Never Know Why, Lightning Strikes) but for the most part this is a really solid album. The good songs are absolutely stellar and the crappy ones are even at least listenable. This album has a handful of great songs that same this from being a complete monstrosity and who knows, maybe in a few years the songs I don’t like now may find a place.
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No Rest For The Wicked – 4 headless bats out of 5
The Good: Miracle Man, Devil’s Daughter, Crazy Babies, Fire In The Sky, Bloodbath In Paradise, Tattooed Dancer, Demon Alcohol
For this being the first album with new guitarist Zakk Wylde, this album really hit a fucking home run. The only thing keeping this from being a “5” was that craptastic “Breaking All The Rules” and Zakk’s horrifying and skin crawling pinch harmonics ever two seconds. The production is so dark and muddy sounding but it totally works along with the content of the album. The songs on this album are fucking awesome. “Bloodbath In Paradise” fucking kills on this album, the guitar solo in “Crazy Babies” melts my face every time but the MVP of the album in my opinion is “Fire In The Sky.” This is the closest to a Randy-like tune in my opinion and is a real highlight. Unfortunately, Zakk would never again have a performance this good on an album ever. This was without a doubt this line up’s peek moment.
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No More Tears – 3 headless bats out of 5
The Good: Mr. Tinkertrain, Mama I’m Coming Home, Desire, No More Tears, S.I.N, Hellraiser
This is a great example of an album that does not stand the test of time. I remember when this album came out and I thought it was the best Ozzy album ever made. The funny thing is that I can’t remember loving every song on this album so when I started this article and had to listen to it from beginning to end it was so fucking painful. “Mr. Tinkertrain” is a great song and album opener and hinted at a very promising album but it just got worse as it went on. The title track is a great song with a lot of really cool changes and another amazing Zakk solo but there is so much fail on this album. I loved “Mama I’m Coming Home” as it’s a pretty amazing song but “Time After Time” and “Road To Nowhere” are just so weak and fluffy. It sounds like an album full of B-Sides for the most part and yet again, Zakk and his fucking harmonics. For being such a great guitarist, he also has one of the worst guitar tones I’ve ever heard. It’s so synthetic and crappy sounding that the more time goes by, the more dated and unbearable he is to listen to.
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Ozzmossis – 1 headless bats out of 5
The Good: Perry Mason, Tomorrow
Proof that Ozzy should have just let it all go after “No More Tears” which is sad because once again, an album that cannot live up to the opening song. “Perry Mason” is a killer tune. It’s dark, heavy and even Zakk’s playing on this particular song is killer. Ozzy’s vocals are killer and the over all delivery is great but what the fuck happened after this song. “See You On The Other Side” just sounds like leftover crap from “No More Tears” and “I Just Want You” is one of those songs that made me say, “Is this a fucking joke? Really?” There isn’t a single song on this album that does it for me. Matter of fact, I’ve tried listening to this album a few times and “Perry Mason” and “Tomorrow” are the only songs I can actually listen to. This is just one big coaster of an album!
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Down To Earth – 3 headless bats out of 5
The Good: Get Me Through, Facing Hell, Dreamer, No Easy Way Out, Junkie, Alive
Wow, talk about a surprising album! I couldn’t tell you that I ever even listened to this album before. I guess you can’t really blame me after that goddamn Ozzmosis atrocity but this album was actually pretty good. Even the not so good songs were listenable on this one and Zakk’s guitar work even seems to be toned down a good bit with those damn pinch harmonics. I actually had to check the line up for this recording because the playing sounded so different. The songs are quite good on this album and once again they are tuned down and heavy as fuck. I’m not a huge fan of the tuned down sound but with Ozzy’s ever dying voice I guess it’s a necessary evil. “Dreamer” is probably my personal favorite as this song sounds like it could have been on “Diary of a Madman” or something. It’s got a really great old school Ozzy feel to it and it’s a good tune. The opening song “Get Me Through” is a great opener and was a song that actually made me have high hopes for the rest of the album. The album isn’t a 5 by any means and not even a 3.5 but a 3 at this late in the game is a good thing to get even after that craptastic “Ozzmosis” album.
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Black Rain – 0 headless bats out of 5
The Good: Nothing good about this coaster!
I’m not sure what Ozzy was trying to prove with this album. Maybe it was his way of trying to show some relevance as a heavy metal icon but in all honesty, this album just confirmed two things to me. 1. Ozzy’s voice has so much auto tune applied to it that it’s a headache to listen to. 2. It’s obvious Zakk Wylde was done with this gig because there is no effort to this album whatsoever. There were a few songs that sounded promising at first but as they went on just crashed and burned. The album starts out with two songs that I’d like to reply to. The first song is called, “No Going Away” and the second one is “I Don’t Wanna Stop.” Well, you should go away Ozzy AND stop putting out these amazingly horrible albums. You’ve run completely out of ideas and obviously so have the people that write your lyrics.
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Scream – 3.5 headless bats out of 5
The Good: “Let It Die”, “Let Me Hear You Scream”, “Diggin’ Me Down”, “Fearless”, “I Want It More”, “Latimer’s Mercy”
I actually had to listen to this album twice to believe my ears. First off, right out of the gate the album’s opening track “Let It Die” was awesome. The sound of Gus G’s guitar playing right away was music to my ears. He has an amazing tone and wait, what’s that? NO PINCH HARMONICS! This alone gave the album a “1” but surprisingly, this ended up charting really high. Even though it’s painfully obvious that Ozzy’s best friend is “auto tune”, the songs on this album are quite good. “Let Me Hear You Scream” is a great fun metal song that is once again a guitar driven song. Gus G’s guitar work and tone alone have made this quite an awesome listening experience. The album is a great metal album but it still has some pretty weak duds like “I Love You All” and “Soul Sucker.” Those songs are so crappy that they kept this album from being a “4”. It’s a shame that Gus had to come into the picture so late in the game. I can only imagine what he could’ve done to save us from the previous 3 albums but all in all, this is a solid album and shows that Ozzy just may have a trick or two up his sleeve left.
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